Holidays and Mixed Blessings
The time is near! A time to celebrate! A time to rejoice! A time to spend with loved ones.
But that’s not the case for everyone. It’s hard to lose loved ones and even harder to take part in holiday festivities without your loved ones.
The holidays bring about mixed blessings. They give us the opportunity to travel near and far to be with those who we miss throughout the year. And they bring us even closer to those who we see each and every day.
But they also remind us of those who we have lost and can no longer touch, no longer see, and no longer feel. It can be difficult to enjoy the holidays when we are weighed down with sadness and with a longing to hold their hand one more time, hear their laughter one more time, and see their face one more time.
And if your loved ones are lost but not gone, it can be just as troublesome. The desire to reach out over the holidays is typically quite strenuous, especially if we anticipate the feelings of rejection and sadness. Your loved ones are within reach but remain so far away.
It’s a mixed blessing to smile while you may be thinking about your lost loved ones, to laugh when you are sad, or to enjoy that gift when you can no longer feel the gift of your loved ones.
Take a Deep Breath
Take a pause and close your eyes. Remember the last moment that you enjoyed time with them. Now hold on to that feeling. Breathe it in. Feel it in every part of your being and hold on tightly to it. Stay present with your memories. Give yourself permission to “spend time” with your loved ones.
Feel the life that you possess inside of you. You are alive and allowing yourself to miss your loved ones is necessary for you. But you also need to allow yourself to bask in the glory of the air that you breathe in. Surround yourself with people and activities that you enjoy. Create new memories that you will carry with you on your journey. You will need these memories down the road. Memories are our scrapbook of life.
To know love is to have felt sadness. Focus on the warm feelings that surface when you think of the love you have experienced because of your loved ones. When you start to feel sad remember that you have the power to feel that love again. You have the influence to feel thankful for the mixed blessings that the holidays have to offer.
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